My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip（纸片）. This is lingerie（女士内衣）." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite（精致的）; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb （蜘蛛网，蛛丝）of lace（花边）. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician（殡葬员）. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores （琐事）that
follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning
to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives.
I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I
thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they
were special.
I'm
still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm
reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more
time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor（使有风味，尽情享受）, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm
not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia （茶花）blossom. I wear my good blazer （颜色鲜明的运动夹克）to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out （交付，支付）$28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing（畏缩）.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends'.
"Someday"
and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's
worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she
would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese
dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing--I'll never know.
It's
those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that
my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom
I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't
written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.